Do you feel like you’re one step behind someone?

Comparing ourselves to others is a natural mechanism that has its pros and cons. Sometimes it can motivate us or even calm us down – especially when we realise that others are facing difficult challenges and our problems seem lighter in comparison. However, more often than not, it has a destructive effect on us. The worse our emotional state, the more comparisons poison our thoughts and lower our self-esteem.

This mechanism has its roots in evolution – it helped people determine the social hierarchy and find their place in the group. Today, we are constantly bombarded with images from social media and fall into the trap of ‘perfect images’ that lower our self-esteem and reinforce our fears.

How to limit comparing yourself to others?

There are strategies that can help you break out of this cycle and focus more on yourself than on others.

• Notice your thoughts. Consciously directing your attention allows you to process information more calmly and reduce the intensity of negative emotions. It may be helpful to write down intrusive thoughts – this will make it easier for you to notice when they appear and regain control over them.
• Appreciate your strengths. Start with small tasks that you can succeed at. Each such experience strengthens your sense of agency and motivates you to continue developing. Maybe this is a good time to sign up for a course or learn a new skill?
• Limit social media. Set a time limit for using apps and choose content that supports you rather than undermines you.
• Practise gratitude. Write down three things you are grateful for every day. This shifts your focus from what you lack to what you already have.
• Compare yourself to yourself yesterday. If you feel the need to compare, compare your progress today to who you were yesterday. Every small step counts.
• Be kind to yourself. Instead of criticising, learn to talk to yourself as you would to your best friend.
• Surround yourself with supportive people. Relationships that lift your spirits are a shield that protects your self-esteem. Talking and sharing your emotions allows you to gain perspective.

What do such strategies offer?

First and foremost, they reduce stress and bring more peace to your everyday life. They help you focus on your own goals and strengths instead of what others are doing. Thanks to them, you begin to build a deeper sense of self-worth and get to know yourself better.

And you? What will you choose today – comparing yourself to others or appreciating your own pace? Think about which strategy will be most supportive for you and what it will bring to your life.