Downplaying emotions – how to recognise them and take care of yourself?

Have you ever felt that someone was belittling your emotions, values, or experiences? Perhaps you heard words like, “Don’t exaggerate,” “If that’s what you think…” or your experiences were ignored. In such moments, you may feel unimportant, disregarded, or even hurt. This is a natural reaction.

What is minimisation?

Minimisation is a form of emotional invalidation – disregarding what you feel, think and experience. It may be a small, seemingly innocent sentence, but it carries a lot of weight. It makes your emotions seem unworthy of attention, which over time can undermine your self-esteem.

The consequences of such behaviour are real. When someone regularly dismisses your emotions, you begin to feel pain and self-doubt. On the other hand, acknowledging and accepting feelings has the opposite effect – it builds trust, strengthens relationships and helps you feel important.

How should you react when someone belittles you?

It is not always easy to respond directly. However, there are strategies that can help:

• Use ‘I’ statements.
  Instead of attacking the other person, talk about yourself and your feelings.
  Example: ‘I feel disregarded when I hear “don’t exaggerate”.’
  If this is difficult, practise such messages beforehand, e.g. in front of a mirror.

• Set boundaries
  Clearly signal when something hurts you.
  Example: ‘Please don’t talk to me like that. I feel that such comments are hurtful to me.’
  You may need to repeat this several times, especially if you have not set boundaries before.

• Defend your feelings
  Even if someone says you are overreacting, do not take it personally. You have the right to feel differently from the other person, and your emotions are just as important.

How to regain peace of mind and self-esteem?

We cannot always influence how others treat us. However, we can influence how we treat ourselves.

• Accept your emotions – you can write them down or repeat supportive affirmations, such as ‘My feelings are important’ or ‘I am important’.

• Keep your distance – if someone constantly denies your emotions, consider limiting contact or creating a protective space. This is a form of self-care, not selfishness.

• Use ‘grey rocking’ – neutral, calm reactions towards a person who does not respect your boundaries. This way, you stop giving them ‘fuel’ to continue disregarding you.

Summary

Downplaying your emotions is a real problem that can affect your self-esteem and relationships with others. That is why it is so important to notice your feelings, defend them, and clearly communicate your boundaries. Remember – taking care of yourself is not selfishness, but an act of self-respect.

And you – do you already use any of these strategies in your life?